Wedding week(end): Thursday

I took myself to breakfast before driving to SFO to pick up Emily and Will. Their flights arrived within 45 minutes of each other, or so I thought. It took me 15 minutes to get to the airport, and 40 minutes to find a parking space in the International terminal. I hung out in the arrivals lobby for a good hour, enjoying the people watching before our gal arrived! We drove to the Domestic terminal to get Will and then we were off to the city. Our agenda included 1) lunch 2) Macy's and 3) liquor/wine for the bachelorette party. It was HOT outside. Hotter than Texas was that day, actually. We had a leisurely lunch at a Mediterranean restaurant, and spent the afternoon shopping for Emily's lingerie shower gift for Kimra. This may or may not have involved 1) a group consensus and 2) Emily trying on the nightgown to check sizing. At 4:45 I looked at my watch and gasped. We were due at the Palace Hotel at 5:45 for bachelorette fun, we were still in Macy's, hadn't bought the wine, and clearly hadn't showered. I thought I smelled like a barn.

Emily tried to convince me of the fact that we were simply not going to get there until 7. In the end, she was right, but it didn't stop me from worrying. Little did I know this would be the first of many events I would be late to this weekend.

So it's true, we got there around 7, but luckily the bride had not arrived. The suite was beautiful, and we had Uncle Vito's pizza delivered. Emily had also delivered macaroons and chocolates from Paris. All of the gifts were beautiful, and nothing but in good taste (lucky for the bride) I, however, was a little disappointed! Although the edible vegan massage oils were a bit of a deviation from the lovely lingerie that was opened. This bachelorette affair turned out to be nothing BUT classy. No penis straws, no tacky headpieces, no to-do lists like kiss a man from Wyoming. We were all reservations and limos! The first stop was Bourbon and Branch, a 1920s speakeasy that had a list of rules on the front of the menu, which included no ordering of cosmopolitans, no flash photography, no standing at the bar, no using loud voices. I can appreciate these rules as a throwback to the secretive nature of bars in the 1920s, but this was a bachelorette party for god sakes. I did not, in general, violate the rules, but I was not going to budge on the flash photography. I did abandon my favorite type of vodka martini and tried absinthe. Yuck! The pre and post pics of absinthe were really something.

After we sweat off five pounds in the upstairs unairconditioned balcony at Bourbon and Branch, our limo took us to the Tonga Room at the Fairmont Hotel. All I can say about the decor of this place: Pirates of the Caribbean. The dance floor was a ship deck and the band played on a dingy that was afloat IN WATER and moved back and forth. It even rained every hour. Our drinks came in enormous volcano bowls and the rum just about put me over the edge! Sickly sweet. Yum. We were about the only party going in Theme Land apart from the corporate old guys who eventually danced with us. It was fantastic. The pictures are a trip. The bar closed at 11:45 (WHAT?) and so were off to the Starlite Lounge at the top of the Sir Francis Drake Hotel. Will met up wtih us at this point and we accepted a discounted cover for bringing youth and beauty to the Starlite. Well, after I straightened the maitre'd out. Will and I got to the front of the line and were told the cover was $15 each. I was aware our bachelorette party was only paying $5. I said, "Um, excuse me, we ARE the bachelorette party." And $5 cover it was. The Starlite Lounge was a lovely bar with a dance floor overlooking all of San Francisco. The clientele: about 15 to 20 years older in sport coats and pleated pants. The atmosphere: lush couches, handsome bartenders, and dance music that I may or may not have stored on my iPod. We closed down the bar and Will and I made it back to our hotel for a much needed night's sleep.